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The #1 National Bestseller

In her most provocative book yet, America's top radio talk show host, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, urgently reminds women that to take proper care of their husbands is to ensure themselves the happiness and satisfaction they deserve in marriage.

Women want to be in love, get married and live happily ever after, yet countless women call Dr. Laura, unhappy in their marriages and seemingly at a loss to understand the incredible power they have over their men to create the kind of home life they yearn for. In the Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, Dr. Laura provides real-life examples and real-life solutions on how to wield that power to attain all the sexual pleasure, intimacy, love, joy, and peace desired in life.

Dr. Laura's simple principles have changed the lives of millions. Now they can change yours.

From the Back Cover

In her most provocative book yet, Dr. Laura urgently reminds women that to take proper care of their husbands is to ensure themselves the happiness and satisfaction they yearn for in marriage.

Women want to be in love, get married, and live happily ever after. Yet disrespect for men and disregard for the value, feelings, and needs of husbands has fast become the standard for male-female relations in America. Those two attitudes clash in unfortunate ways to create struggle and strife in what could be a beautiful relationship.

Countless women call Dr. Laura, unhappy in their marriages and seemingly at a loss to understand the incredible power they have over their men to create the kind of home life they yearn for. Now, in The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, Dr. Laura shows you—with real-life examples and real-life solutions—how to wield that power to attain all the sexual pleasure, intimacy, love, joy, and peace you want in your life.

Dr. Laura's simple principles have changed the lives of millions. Now they can change yours.

About the Author

One of the most popular hosts in radio history—with millions of listeners weekly—Dr. Laura Schlessinger has been offering no-nonsense advice infused with a strong sense of personal responsibility for more than 40 years. Her internationally syndicated radio program is now on SiriusXM Triumph Channel 111, and is streamed on the Internet and podcast.

She's a best-selling author of eighteen books, which range from the provocative (New York Times chart topper The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands) to the poignant (children's book Why Do You Love Me?). She's on Instagram and Facebook (with over 1.7 million followers), and her Call of the Day podcast has exceeded one hundred million downloads. She has raised millions for veterans and their families with her boutique, DrLauraDesigns.com, which benefits the Children of Fallen Patriots Foundation.

Dr. Laura holds a Ph.D. in physiology from Columbia University's College of Physicians and Surgeons, and received her post-doctoral certification in Marriage, Family, and Child Counseling from the University of Southern California. She was in private practice for 12 years. She has been inducted into the National Radio Hall of Fame, received an award from the Office of the Secretary of Defense for her Exceptional Public Service, and was the first woman ever to win the National Association of Broadcasters' prestigious Marconi Award for Network/Syndicated Personality.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands

Name: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands
Brand: Harper Perennial
SKU: U0060520620
Price: 10.93 BHD
Availability: InStock
Rating: 4.6 (8 reviews)

By Dr. Laura Schlessinger

HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.

Chapter One

The Improper Care and Feeding of Husbands

I laughed when I heard the title of your new book. I thought, 'It won't happen. What woman would buy it? Who cares about us men?' There are a few things that men want so bad they would do anything for it. I think a good number of men want respect more than love. They like to feel they have some power. I nearly cry when you tell a woman caller to respect her husband. There is so much selfishness in the world -- in marriages. Prosperity has allowed women to be so independent, and thus so selfish. I always feel as though I come last -- my feelings come last, my needs come last."

Edgar

There isn't a day that goes by when I don't ask at least one woman caller on my radio program if she expects to stay married considering her hostile, dismissive, or undermining attitude and actions toward her husband. What is amazing is how surprised they all seem to imagine that their husbands might have a limit to how much they'll take before they tune out or turn away. What is even more amazing is that this insensitivity to their husbands' needs and feelings goes hand in hand with a hypersensitivity about any action or reaction from the men -- reactions that are usually more than reasonable.

Here's just one example of such a caller from my radio program the day before I began writing this chapter. This "Christian" woman has been married one year to a "Jewish" man, and they have a four-month-old son. Before they married she promised to raise their children Jewish, even though, obviously, neither one was truly invested in and committed to their religion (because, if they were, they would have married someone with whom they could share their faith). Now that it is Christmastime, she put up a tree and is already revving up for Easter egg hunts. "I don't want my children to miss out on all the wonderful holiday experiences I had as a child," she says to me by way of rationalizing her broken promise.

What was her question for me even after I reminded her of her promise and vows? Of course it was, "How can I get him to stop walking around angry and pouting?" That she betrayed her vow was easily dismissed, I think, by the double standard most women have about what they do and what their men do. If women change their minds, men must take it. When men change their minds, they're brutes.

One male listener wrote to me of his frustration with this double standard. He lamented that women need to understand how frustrating it is dealing with a double standard that only takes into account the woman's immediate needs or desires. It was his perception that everything the woman feels or needs is legitimate and very important, while anything related to the man is unimportant and selfish.

I think, as generalizations go, he has a good point. Try visiting various female-oriented Internet chat rooms, and you'll find cheering sections rallying behind women who trash their men, determined to leave them for trivial reasons ("He's not talkative enough," "I just don't feel complete," "I'm bored," or "He doesn't want me talking to my mother every day").

And while we're talking about double standards, let's not forget what happens in the bedroom. Women expect their men to "understand" when they're not interested in sex, but when the men don't or can't perform -- watch out!

What causes this double-standard mentality? In one big, hyphenated word: self-centeredness. And what is the source of this self-centeredness? I believe it's a result of the women's movement, with its condemnation of just about everything male as evil, stupid, and oppressive, and the denigration of female and male roles in families, as well as the loss of family functioning as a result of divorce, day care, dual careers, and the glorification of shacking up and unwed motherhood by choice. These are the core destructive influences that result in women not appreciating that they are perfected, as are men, when they are bonded in wedlock and have obligations to family.

The result is women get married thinking largely about what their marriage and their man can do for them, and not what they can do for their men. And when there is so little emphasis on the giving, the nitpicking and pettiness chews up and spits out what could have been a good marriage.

Cindy's e-mail addresses the issue of"giving" and "doing":

"I have been married for ten years and I had a huge problem with Caring and Feeding my husband. I did not know the time my mother put into caring and feeding my dad until I was having difficulty in my marriage. It was then she helped me understand a wife's role. My generation (I'm in my 30s) was raised in a very 'me' culture: If we're not happy, then no one will be. Luckily, my mom and dad taught me that in order to be happy and fulfilled, you must help, love, and care . . . for others! Even with a great home life as a child, I didn't know that was so true in a marriage. I just thought you either have a great marriage or you don't -- that somehow marriage existed outside your efforts.

That was just one of my misassumptions. Another was that he should be as knowledgeable about things as my dad, with whom I constantly compared him. I constantly nagged instead of encouraged. Then my dad gave me advice on how the male ego worked. I followed his direction, being encouraging and essentially being his cheerleader. Things changed dramatically.

My mother's advice, after my many mess-ups, was to love him. Now, that sounds pretty basic, but I now truly understand what the word 'love' means. It's a profoundly tender, passionate affection for someone; an affectionate concern for their well-being. God's greatest gift, after life itself, is love. God created him for you. Love your husband with all your heart and treat him like the gift from God that he is."

Continues...
Excerpted from The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbandsby Dr. Laura Schlessinger Copyright &copy 2006 by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Review:

5.0 out of 5

100.00% of customers are satisfied

5.0 out of 5 stars A must for both, cross-gender communication!

S.R. · May 14, 2020

Ladies steer the ship carrying the emotional health of their relationship, the man helps to maintain. In my opinion this book helps layout practical concepts in a simple manner most ladies and gentlemen understand. Men tend to fix things, shovel coal, and say what’s on their mind (if it matters to them). Women often talk in code, and try to decode what the man is saying. If he's a plain talker, this often leads to misunderstanding the significance of what he said, and too often completely missing the point. Unfortunately wars have been started over missunderstandings.An adopted son (at 14, from my ex-wife’s twin), did not listen to my advice about sex. A young lady in high school picked him out to be hers, they had a child, and nine years later another. Seriously I tried working with him, but he said "she was not who he wanted to spend his life with." They were living together and began fighting regularly, irrational. After I read this book, I decided I was working with the wrong half of the equation, and I offered it to her. Six months later they were married. If you'd like more detail read on.I bought this book for myself and wish I read it when first published, but I still had much to learn. The stories are simple testimony from real people, the concepts are priceless. Everyone should be happy but not everyone is ready. This book teaches about cross-gender communication. Men should read it to understand how they should be treated, with love and compassion of course. I tell them not to give it to their wife, because she may be insulted, and never read it. She should already be perfect just the way she is, never criticize her (she’ll do enough of that on her own), and just randomly pick something you love about her to acknowledge the Goddess inside her. I tell them to simply place the book on their nightstand. If she asks, just say you heard the book can help you be a better partner, husband, friend, man. That you really love her, and want to be the best partner you can be. If she asks to borrow it tell her no Sweetheart, you’re perfect just as you are, don’t change a thing. If she continues, suggest reading it together, and she can help you understand it. I tell the woman to read the book, so they learn how to care for their pet. Honest people can work things out, and an honest man is a simple creature don’t try to change him. Just love him, help him understand how to help you, and recognize the God in him for the good things he does to please you.I was diving into every nuance by the last chapter, but found it (for a man) to be the most boring chapter of the book. She takes a really long time (talking code) to say the simple truth “If he wants ‘it’ just give it too him.” But seriously ladies and gentlemen a little sexual tension is healthy to spur the youthful exuberance of anticipation, be sure your up on “The Joy of Sex” and other more sensual or spiritual aspects of relationships. Intimacy should never be used as a tool or withheld from a good man doing his best. Remember a good man is a simple creature and he’s hard wired for simple pleasures a happy wife (I cannot express in words how hard a man will work to please his wife, even if she is less than supportive of his needs), happy life, good food, and GREAT SEX!!! Conversation and making memories are wonderful but be sure our basic needs are met. We will give our lives to you. The woman is in charge of her happiness, telling her husband (asking is much better) what she needs help with. If she is not happy, it is because she’s either with a narcissist/sociopath, or she hasn’t told the engineer she needs more coal in the engine room. (Please excuse my sarcasm, he might not be the right person. Or she is the sociopath. Character flaws do not discriminate. Note: Men and Woman sociopaths have two traits in common. They lack empathy, and take pleasure manipulating others. They are some of the nicest people you don't want to know!)The young lady quickly began applying concepts she learned in the book. Six months later they were getting married. I asked him, how’s life, he said "I couldn’t be happier." Each of four years after he said the same thing, and I stopped asking.Originally I read about 100 reviews from ladies here on Bolo. One lady's parents had a perfect marriage 40 years of bliss, still glowing after all those years. But her marriage was not as good. She read the book, and two weeks later her marriage was perfect! They say men love you like a dog, kick’em and they keep coming back for more. Hoping for love, but tolerating abuse to a point. They also say women are like cats, chase them, and they will run away. Sit still and they will come lay in your lap, and purr... nice happy life... 😇Another lady doesn’t like the author at all, loaths her like a zombie (my adaptation), but her marriage wasn’t doing so well. A friend loaned her the book, out of respect for her friend she’s read it. Two weeks later her marriage was fine... 😇If it’s the right person it might be the wrong time. If it’s the wrong person it’s always the wrong time. Good cake doesn’t need frosting, and frosting doesn’t fix the cake. Though a little doesn’t hurt. It’s who’s inside that counts.From the first page, “this book is not to fix all relationships... If you’re suffering from addiction, abuse, or affairs save yourself and get out.” I’m told Phil Donahue put that on the last page of his book, backwards thinking Phil. I much prefer how Laura S. ended her book, emphasizing in every way she could think of “If your man needs loving, give him prime choice, and top shelf loving!” You never want him looking for love in all the wrong places. To a healthy man food and great sex are basic needs we live for. Yes we also enjoy many other interests, but nature has endowed us with a very strong need for placing our lives, our love, and our essence in the hands of a woman who cares for us. We can fix things we understand, but emotional eddies are far too complex for most men.Too many don’t understand this simple truth. So men are abused, get frustrated, and most are outclassed whenever a woman uses emotional manipulation on them. This my friends are not the type of woman you want. Read David Deida’s “The way of the superior man” and Corey Wayne’s “The 3% man.” Western sociopolitical manipulation has perverted how men and women treat each other, by filling our media with divisive concepts, and bad role models. Simply to weaken our family structure and make sheep easier to herd. The strength and foundation of our world, depends on the love, compassion, and peace we have in our hearts.Love, the most powerful force in the universe, share it without restraint, and know we are all riding around the sun together!

5.0 out of 5 stars A MUST READ FOR EVERY WIFE

s. · August 3, 2024

I really loved this book. It is a very straightforward book about the realities of marriage. It is mostly anecdotal, meaning that it has stories or quotes from actual married people who spoke to this marriage counselor. It was pretty eye-opening for me in a lot of ways.

5.0 out of 5 stars A book for women who want to improve their marriage. Every page helps.

C. · February 1, 2018

I read this book many times, so there is not ONE mistake in my comments here. I read it, I understood it, then understood it some more. I did my checks and balance on my relationship. This book was and is an eye opener! I am recovered feminist thanks to Dr. Laura's advice and teachings which I followed because it resonated with my desire to get out of this raging feminist s>>thole ("men are doormats", "it's me, me, me, and he needs to dance accordingly") and get some happiness! I wanted to see my man in real colors, to understand that we are together to be happy not to fight about whose balls are bigger. This book is telling it to women who are willing to hear -- as it is: Men want to be loved and appreciated and we, women, can give them that. Reciprocity. Desire to make each other happy, being humble as to want to accept the differences that actually make us so awesome together! This is not a book for women who do not want to accept a different perspective than theirs. This is not a book for women who refuse to see their men in a true light. This is not a book for women who do not have the desire to make a change, to better their marriages. This is not a book for women who think that kids don't need a father. This is not a book for women for whom their career stands higher than their kids, husbands, or the air they breathe. So, don't buy the book if you are not ready to open up your mind and heart and see things differently or in a better way than you are already seeing and doing them. Buy and read this book if you really really really love your husband, love being a mother and a wife, and want to solve a problem in your marriage or bring more happiness in your marriage. This book taught me so many things!No, I am not affiliated in any commercial, marketing, financial etc. way with this book as though it sounds like I did a good advertisement job. I am writing this with much gratitude to this little lady who showed me how to move my chess pieces by putting the queen next to her king and helping me win this game called "Life". I am now happier, clearer, and have more respect for my man. I am loved more. What a revival!

wow

T. · April 23, 2024

Wonderful book every woman and man should read and follow. Its time to get our acts together and realize the damage that is being done.

Bester Ratgeber

t. · July 13, 2021

Ich würde sagen, der Ratgeber ist nur für Menschen (Frauen) die sich Dinge eingestehen können. Alle anderen können sich die Mühe sparen es zu lesen, da es so keinen Sinn macht und reine Zeitverschwendung wäre.

Everyone should read this book

A. · January 31, 2023

This is here to remind everyone of our fundamental needs in a relationship. We all want to love and be loved and somehow this gets forgotten in the modern world. Women can get so caught up in the mundane duties of life, housework, looking after the kids that they forget what it means to be a wife - gentle, sensual and nurturing towards their husband.Men don’t need another ‘mother’ figure. They need a wife, and when we are able to slip in and out of these roles, our man feels safe, powerful and will go to the ends of the earth for us. I understand this book may offend some people but if you’ve been having the same issues time and time again, nagging about your man not doing things around the house, helping out, or not giving you love and attention, try a different approach, be tender and playful and see if it works. If you want change, one person only has to try something different. let that person be you.

A refreshing and very useful book on marriage

J.M.B. · May 7, 2013

In the past 50 years books on relationships and marriage in the US and also to a lesser extent in the UK, have routinely blamed men for the majority of faults in relationships and marriage. The default knee jerk reaction seems to have been – he's too aggressive, not sensitive enough, is not (insert your adjective here) enough...you get the message.Women's wants, needs and priorities are seen as normal and indeed paramount, whereas the husbands' wants and needs are either mainly disregarded or not considered at all. No “equality” here then ?!Fortunately this book by well known relationship talkshow hostess Dr Laura redresses the balance and gives men and husbands a fair hearing.This is quite refreshing as we only usually get to hear the feminine side of the debate.Much of the book's material is taken from her talkshow listeners and emailers in the form of small case histories,which makes for interesting reading.Men's no.1 complaint about marriage is that their wives are too controlling of sex. As sex is the major way a man displays love and affection to his partner when this is refused (a fairly common event judging by these case histories) not only is the man sexually and emotionally frustrated he cannot show his wife love, the wife also loses out as she is in effect refusing her partner's love.Laura makes the point on several occasions that men are simpler creatures than women. That they almost desperately want to love their wives, all they ask in return is a little respect, consideration, admiration and physical love. If he is properly treated like a man should be by his wife, she will be amply repaid.Laura also gives many case histories where women are dismissive of their husband's economic contribution to the marriage,and what he does for the family and around the house. And wives often seem to "sweat the small stuff" by focusing on minor annoyances instead of seeing the bigger picture of a man who wants to love her, if he is allowed !This may be a sobering book for some women to read, as they see their controlling behaviors and disrespect they have shown their husbands highlighted in the numerous case histories that are mentioned. However as these cases show repeatedly,husbands are by and large prepared to forgive and forget, and Laura points out the relatively small changes that can transform a previously ho-hum marriage into one that is vibrant and alive.

SO real learned so much

A. · October 2, 2023

This book is one of my absolute favorites! The most I learned in a book abt relationships and abt my husband. Real life couples examples, husband's pov on regular life stuff was quite insightful. I would recommend this book to anyone interested in a heartbeat!

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